Self-Compassion Series: What Is Self-Compassion, Anyway?

Wait – I’m allowed to be nice to myself? That’s a thing?! You’ve probably heard the term "self-compassion" before, but what does it really mean? Is it just being nice to yourself? Cutting yourself some slack? 

While kindness is part of it, self-compassion goes much deeper—it’s a powerful way to support your emotional health and personal and professional growth.

At its core, self-compassion means treating yourself with the same care and understanding you’d offer a close friend. Let’s be honest, if we talked to our friends the way we talk to ourselves, hoo boy - we might not have that many! Self-compassion means acknowledging our struggles without beating ourselves up. It means giving ourselves space to grow and heal. It doesn’t mean difficult things aren’t happening or don’t happen – it allows us to take care of ourselves while acknowledging: this is hard and telling yourself: I’m here for you. 

Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on the topic, breaks self-compassion into three key parts:

1. Being Kind to Yourself

Being kind to yourself means being gentle with yourself during tough times instead of being super critical. Everyone struggles—it’s part of being human. Imagine how you’d comfort a friend who’s having a hard time. What might you say? How might you act toward that friend? Even toward a stranger? Self-kindness is about offering yourself that same warmth and comfort.

2. Remembering You’re Not Alone

Common humanity reminds us that everyone goes through struggles and challenges. You’re not alone in feeling anxious, overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure. Remembering this can help you feel connected rather than isolated when life feels hard.

3. Staying Present

Mindfulness is about noticing your thoughts and emotions with openness and curiosity, rather than self-judgment. It’s recognizing your feelings as they arise without amplifying or minimizing them. Staying present allows you to respond with kindness and understanding instead of self-criticism.

Why Self-Compassion Matters

Being kinder to yourself can change the way you handle stress and personal challenges. Research shows it can:

• Lower anxiety, depression, and perfectionism

• Build resilience and emotional balance

• Boost motivation and personal growth

When you’re compassionate with yourself, you create a supportive space where you can learn from mistakes without harsh self-judgment.

Simple Ways to Practice Self-Compassion

Here are a few easy ways to bring more self-compassion into your life:

• Talk to yourself like a friend: Notice how you speak to yourself. Exchange the harsh self-talk for gentle encouragement. This takes practice!

• Acknowledge your feelings: It’s okay to feel hurt or frustrated. Let yourself feel without pushing those emotions aside.

• Take care of yourself: Make time for things that help you feel good, like rest, mindfulness, hobbies, exercise or journaling.

• Remember you’re human: Everyone faces challenges. You’re not alone. You know the famous quote: “Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

Self-compassion isn’t about pretending everything’s fine or brushing your challenges aside, it’s about facing them with understanding and care. When you treat yourself with kindness, you build confidence, emotional resilience, and a deeper sense of fulfillment.

Ready to be your best friend instead of your worst enemy? Let’s connect and explore how self-compassion can help you thrive.